Well... Ford and I survived our first night alone without Jon. Actually 2 nights this week! Jon has been on a traveling hiatus since I hit about 36 weeks of pregnancy since we assumed our little guy would come early and he is finally back on the road. It was so nice having him home with me every night for about 2 months but we have to enter the real world again. And we survived! Funny because before Ford was born I was so nervous about Jon traveling thinking I couldn't handle things on my own but it really wasn't a big deal. Man oh man do the days fly by, I feel like Ford nurses all day and I look up and it is 6pm. Jon was gone Tuesday night, home Wednesday night and back gone Thursday night. So it's been a crazy week but we managed. I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to stay home with my little guy and with that comes a traveling husband. A hardworking one that I don't deserve.
Ford's first time at church last week, he slept the whole time!
We've also survived our first week without help since Ford arrived and that has been an adjustment to say the least but again, we survived. I always wondered what moms meant when they said motherhood was exhausting, hard, and a lot of work... now I know. There really isn't a way to explain it until you are experiencing it. Recovering from a C section was half the battle the first 2 weeks but I am happy to say I feel really good now. Mr. Ford is definitely going through a growth spurt and right on track with his first "leap" from Wonder Weeks which means mom is tired and my boobs are an all you can eat buffet. According to Wonder Weeks, he is going through a developmental/cognitive leap where he's learning and growing and a little off. He is a boy by the books these days. He's been extra hungry, fighting off sleep, and wants to be cuddled. As hard as it is for me to look at my day and think, wow, I barely had time to feed myself and didn't manage to take a shower.... cuddling him takes precedence.
"Quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep" sent to me by a girlfriend
I can't lie and tell you tears have not been shed this week. There have been tears of joy, frustration, relief, gratefulness, exhaustion. I am convinced that the second you become a mother, anything makes you cry. I've cried when I can't console my son and cried when neighbors take care of me. I can instantly start crying when I hear Jon talking and singing to our son from the other room and I have cried thinking about the big job Jon and I have to teach our son about Jesus.
This is what life is all about folks..
I was telling a fellow new mama that I really look forward to my late night nursing sessions and studying the Word with the help of She Reads Truth at 4am. Those moments when the rest of the world is asleep and all I can hear is the soft sound of Ford suckling, I am so confident of my role as a mother as The Lord does work in my heart.
I don't have to remind myself of why and what I should be thankful for these days. God is so good. He provides day after day and not a minute goes by that I am not in awe of the work He's done in my life. Jon and I both agree that we couldn't be successful parents without the love of Christ in our own hearts and as the foundation of our marriage.
So yes... motherhood is hard, but it is beautiful, rewarding, fulfilling, and so much better than I could have ever imagined on my own.