Dressing my postpartum body

Postpartum is a weird time. It is full of joy, emotions, pain, and different. I won't get into too many details, if you want to read about my first postpartum experience read this post (warning, graphic). Today's post I want to focus on the postpartum body... embracing it and dressing it. Being a second time mom I kind of knew what to expect of my body after I had Lucy. I'd leave the hospital looking puffy, swollen, and about 6 months pregnant, not great for a first time mom's self confidence. Growing a baby for 9 months and giving birth is such an incredible thing and unfortunately most mama's bodies are never the same (but it is so worth it!). I was blessed that breastfeeding took off almost all of the weight I'd gained during pregnancy but I wasn't used to new curves, lines, and softer areas. Prior to having kids I would have been deathly afraid of stretch marks and now they remind me of the amazing thing my body did, growing those babies. My boobs will never be perky but I nursed one baby for a year and hope to do the same with Lucy. The mother's body is beautiful and should be celebrated and embraced!

Now onto dressing my postpartum body. I am sure I'm not alone when I get so annoyed with my wardrobe at the end of pregnancy (wearing the same thing day after day) and get so excited to go shopping when you aren't carrying a 30lb watermelon under your shirt. I gift myself the ability to splurge a little on a few new items for my wardrobe after I have my babies. Considering most days I am in my stay at home mom uniform (workout clothes and a monogram hat, despite not working out!), it is like Christmas morning picking out a few new items for myself, and not my children or husband. What I look for are pieces that don't accentuate my stomach, provide easy access for breastfeeding, is comfortable, and versatile- can be worn as a dress, swim cover up, a top with leggings. Thanks to Jane.com, I was able to add some fun, stylish (I will not turn into a mom-jean wearing mom!), and inexpensive items. It's amazing how much more confident and beautiful I feel when I put on something other than workout gear. It takes no more effort to grab something from my closet rather than on top of the laundry pile and pretty clothes hide my exhaustion well! All the outfits below are styled by Jane.com.

Left my babies for 9 hours (!!!) for a spa day to celebrate one of my BFFs 30th birthday. I got so many compliments on my cover up, I love it! It's long enough to wear as a cover up (not sure I would wear it alone as a dress) and short enough to wear as a top, see below. 

Same top, different color and different style. I actually put on this outfit and yelled to Jon that I had an announcement to which he replied, "You are pregnant again?". I told him I definitely wouldn't be smiling if that were the case... I am back in non maternity jeans! It took a few weeks for my incision not to be irritated when touched by clothing and now at 7 weeks post partum, it is healed and my belly has shrunk enough to fit into some jeans. This top is the perfect postpartum top! Easy access up top and doesn't accentuate the belly area. 

I'm noticing a lace trend in these outfits from Jane.com. Lace makes me feel feminine and it is in style right now (I think). I wore this top to church Sunday and got lots of compliments on it. Fancy enough to wear with jeans for church or a date night out and casual enough to wear with shorts for errands, lunch out, etc. 

Never heard of Jane.com? Well you're in luck (but your bank account is not!). Jane.com offers an array of daily deals from different online boutiques at a fraction of the costs. Clothing, jewelry, and children's clothes and accessories that will make your ovaries ache. Over 100 items are offered daily and they update them every day. It is fun and dangerous! I've gotten so many different things from Jane including an Anthropologie inspired necklace (you can find tons of designer inspired pieces!), a chevron bag that is now used for Ford's Mother's Day Out bag, a monogrammed pillow for his nursery, tribal leggings, and more. It is an addiction y'all. It is the perfect place for a busy mama to shop her little heart out and save some moolah.

Our first week as a family of 4

All day Monday I kept saying, "I can't believe it's been a week since we had her!". It's been such a whirlwind and I have loved almost every moment. Bringing home baby #1 I think the first few weeks are such a hazy blur but this time has been so much different. Lucy is proving to be an easier baby than her brother (Ford was far from difficult but he was a little a lot stubborn) and really a dreamy baby. Funny how it takes having a second baby to make you realize how EASY newborns are compared to toddlers! We have been abundantly/overly blessed with help and that is making the transition a lot easier than I expected. I don't think I could survive without my mom! Talk to me in a few weeks when I am on my own and I could be eating these words. The biggest difference this time around is my confidence. I went into 2nd time motherhood feeling so much more relaxed and confident in my abilities. Sure things are still hard and challenging but I know those things are temporary. I will sleep again, I won't always feel the pain of a C section, my boobs won't always look giant and fake. I tend to fall victim of believing whatever hard season I am in is my forever but not this time. I find myself wishing Lucy would stay this little forever, rather than wishing she'd get older so she'd sleep, be on a schedule, etc. Watching my two babies together, the feelings cannot be described. Ford is showing a lot more interest in his baby sister now that we are home and it is the most precious thing ever! He loves her toes and kisses them any chance he gets and is quick to bring her a bow, diaper, or nose bulb. It never gets old hearing his high pitched voice, "Hi baby!". I wanted to document and remember a few things about the past 9 days because I know I'll blink and Lucy will be crawling around the house, gulp. So far 2nd time parenthood has been such a a blessing and better than I could have ever imagined!

• I am 9 days post C section and every single day brings so much healing! I am up and walking and working on maintaining good posture. I've cut my Norco pain meds in half but staying on top of my doses every 4 hours. Right now I feel more pain in my hernia repair than my C section incision. I am also feeling a lot of intense gas pain in my ribs which is normal post surgery. It was really bad last week in the hospital on my right side and now it's moved to the left. I've been using Young Living Deep Relief and that's helping.
• TMI but I am kind of shocked by how little I am bleeding, it's basically been non existent since this past weekend. With Ford I bled about 8 weeks post partum and that sucked. Shows how vastly different each child can be.
• I am using Young Living Progressence Plus to balance my postpartum hormones and that seems to be helping! I've only had one crying for no reason session and I think it was because I was tired from our newborn pictures and behind on my meds.
• Ford really doesn't care that I am holding Lucy a lot but he is very attached to his Mimi right now and cries when she holds Lucy. I honestly don't get my feelings hurt that he is preferring my mom over me because I know this is a huge change for him too and he finds comfort in being with her. She sure is a fun Mimi and has been taking him out and about and even a few sleepovers at her house! I wonder how it will be when I am with both babies on my own.
• Ford has been super sweet with her the past 2 days and VERY helpful getting diapers, wipes, etc. I think he loves his new role as big brother. 
• Ford doesn't seem to interested in me nursing Lucy but on Monday he came up to me and said "Mama nips!" and pointed to my boobs and I reminded him that Lucy is eating mama's milk just like Ford drinks out of his sippy cup. That kept his attention for about .05 seconds and he was on to the next thing. 
• Nights are going really well for Lucy! She has a good awake time around 9-10pm, nurses, then goes right to sleep. She wakes up twice to eat (3-4 hour stretches) and finishes in 15 minutes tops and is right back to sleep. She us up around 8:30-9am, eats again, has a short awake time, and back to bed. Newborn life! Jon sleeps right through it all (no reason for him to be up since I nurse her at night) and I feel really rested. It is fun because I can catch up with my sister in Melbourne in the middle of the night!
• Lucy got her first bottle last Saturday when she was 5 days old. I pumped 4 oz that morning (thank you new Medela pump!) and we fed her 2 oz which she finished like a champ. She gets 1 bottle a day and has been taking around 3.5 oz per bottle. Oink oink. I am so glad we started a bottle this early and will be sticking to it no matter what! We are using the Joovy Boob bottle and haven't had any issues. Daddy loves being able to have that time with her and I sure do love a break. 
• Nursing has been going really great! Lucy is such a fast eater and often times just wants to eat on one side. I only had slight nipple pain for a few days when my milk came in. Man that latch kills you when you are SO full but the pain is completely gone and we have a great routine down.
• We had Lucy's first pedi appointment on Monday and she did great. Unfortunately she has a little cold (thanks to big brother Ford, mama also got it) but the doctor wasn't worried. We are using the nose bulb and saline and elevated her bassinet while she sleeps. She projectile pooped on the nurse while she took her temperature rectally, hilarious! She is 7lb 7.8oz which is past her birth weight! That measures in the 46th percentile, our growing girl. She looked a little yellow to us over the weekend but her jaundice levels came back normal. 
• We took our newborn/family photos on Sunday with Mallorie Owens Photography and I cannot wait to see them! Ford was kind of cranky but I think we got some good ones of them together and Lucy was a champ.
• Last night Jon and I took big brother out on a little date while Lucy stayed home with my mom. It was basically flooding so that put a damper on our plans to be outside but we went to get froyo then to a fish store that Ford (and Jon!) love. I loved spending quality time with Ford and plan on doing that more often now that Lucy is in the mix. 
• Jon is back at work this week, luckily he works from home so he gets to take breaks to see me and the babies. He has a few meetings in town next week and doesn't have to go back out on the road for a few more weeks. Today is my first day solo with both of them!
• I have loved having visitors come and meet our sweet girl! We've been blessed with so many meals, it is such a treat to eat yummy homemade meals that I didn't have to prepare!

Now some pictures and videos to make you smile...

Postpartum...what they don't tell you...

For the past 13 weeks, I've told so many people, "oh man it's so much different than you think" with "it" being childbirth and the weeks following. Man I though Jon and I were super prepared before Ford was born...my experience babysitting and nannying, reading a million books, taking a breastfeeding class... and boom! We had Ford and chaos ensued. Changing diapers, swaddling, and all that good stuff was a piece of cake. Easy peasy. But today I wanted to share the nitty gritty of what people don't talk about postpartum. 
Gosh so many words and thoughts are racing through my mind I don't even know where to being. Let's start with childbirth being the most painful thing I've ever been through. Ford's birth was not at all what I ever imagined and it was incredibly traumatic. It took me a few weeks not to cry when I told people about it, not because I was disappointed at ALL but because it was so scary and painful. Childbirth isn't painful for everyone but for me, it was awful and I don't want to sugar coat it. I am so glad we induced and really hate those people who stand up on their soapbox saying how induction is the worst. Everyone has a story that the Lord has already written and ours included induction that ended in a C section. Pitocin kicked my ass and I wasn't able to have an epidural because of low blood platelets. I do not recommend Pitocin unless you are certain you can have an epidural (which I never ever would have imagined that I couldn't). And Stadol... stay away from that crazy drug! I don't want to get too deep into my birth story since today's post focuses on postpartum but I did want to preface with that. I am happy to answer any questions about Ford's birth, I know God gave us the story to share and I am happy to do so!
So the C section. Ouch! Looking back as painful as it was and hard the recovery was, I will definitely have more for future children but we'll leave that for another post. The main thing post delivery that rocked my socks off was the bleeding. I believe the technical term is "lochia" but it should be changed to "the grossest, stinkiest, raunchiest 2 months of your life." TMI? You guys asked for this post! I knew it was coming but I never knew it would be this intense. There were times in the first few weeks where I thought at the end of the day I wouldn't have any blood left. Take your heaviest, worst period and multiply that by 10. Oh and it starts immediately after birth. Luckily the hospital supplies you with pads that are larger than your newborns diapers and these awesome mesh undies that are so darn comfortable. Having a C section inhibited me from doing much those first few days and I remember thinking "why the heck would anyone choose this job" referring to my awesome nurse changing my diaper and squirting my girl parts with a water bottle. Oh the squirt bottle! I am sure it is much more useful if you deliver vaginally because of the mess that happens down there but I can't speak to that (major bonus of a C section!). Just simply wiping with TP isn't enough for the post partum red aunt. The hospital supplies you with this little squirt bottle that I wanted to use probably 20 times a day just to feel clean. Shout out to my nurses and my mom for helping me with that one! One thing I can't say I loved about my nurses was the fact that they came in twice a day to press down on my uterus to feel where it was. I think this is standard for vaginal and Cs but owieeeeee. Since I was put fully under for my C, I had to stay in bed for 24 hours and I had these things that squeezed my legs every minute to prevent blood clots. They felt kind of like a leg massage and I remember hating when they got taken off because the uterus pounding hurt that much worse. The leg squeezing helped take the edge off. 

I was in the hospital for 5 days total and I accepted the fact that I was bleeding pretty bad but never thought it would last so darn long! It wasn't until 9-10 weeks that I felt comfortable not wearing a panty liner daily (the last 2 weeks was on and off spotting). You better believe I stocked up on the diaper like pads and mesh panties before leaving the hospital and I assumed my stash would last me. Ha! Wrong-o. I went through that stash in a weekend and was totally unprepared at home. I thought I'd catch a break since I had a C section and didn't have to deal with tearing, stitches, etc. but you get no handicap ladies. Boo. If you're pregnant, go to the feminine product aisle and grab the largest diaper pads you can find, and buy triple what you think you need. I never actually used adult diapers but I know women who did and said they were awesome. I would also recommend making padsicles before you give birth with the likelihood you will give birth vaginally. Again, I can't speak on that but look them up on Pinterest, supposedly your lady parts will thank you. 
To add to the lovely mess you are dealing with down there, let's just talk about your new not so womanly scent. I swear I could just step out of the shower and instantly smell myself and it wasn't pretty. It took a couple of weeks for me not to be incredibly grossed out in my own body purely from my scent. I think it was the mix of 105 degree Texas heat in August and my new hormones flowing like crazy but my smell was just off. Oh and breast feeding... talk about sweaty mess. Never did I ever appreciate showers more than those precious showers in the first few weeks of Ford's life!
Since I mentioned breastfeeding above, I did want to touch on that just a bit. Ford and I have a really great breastfeeding relationship and I am so so happy it is working for us. It is such a sweet and special bond we have and I really enjoy knowing how my body can nourish my sons body. God's work is really incredible, huh? Jon and I took a breastfeeding class 2 months before Ford was born and I am SO glad we did. I highly recommend pregnant mommies to take them WITH their husbands because anyone who has breastfed knows that it is basically a 4 person job in the beginning. One thing that I did not like about the class (and realized it after I started breastfeeding) is the fact they told us that it would NOT hurt. Yeah that's a load of crock!! No breastfeeding doesn't hurt me now but those first few weeks... yeah I remember praying that my milk would dry up because the pain was so intense. Again, I don't want to scare any mamas because breastfeeding is so wonderful but I remember feeling sad and discouraged that I must be doing something wrong because it hurt. I mean think about it, your poor nipples are getting sucked on every other hour for an hour at a time, a heck of a lot more stimulation than those babies have ever seen. You are learning, your baby is learning, it is definitely not for the weak at heart. But you have to stick it out. I remember hearing that 3 weeks was that magic week that the pain would be gone... and it's true! You and your baby fall into a routine, learn each other's bodies, and it is UH-MAYZING when you wake up one day and it doesn't hurt! My advice for mamas to be preparing to breastfeed is be aware that it may be a little uncomfortable. Don't give up! Give it time. Lanolin, ice packs, heat pads, your husband. Get your tool box ready. And nipple shields! Lactation consultants will scowl at you at the mention of them but I think they need to be offered to new moms at the hospital. When Ford was 3 weeks old my right nipple was so irritated that I cried at every latch. I ran to Target and grabbed a Medela Nipple Shield and it changed my life. It gave my cracked nipple time to heal and gave me my confidence back. Contrary to what lactation consultants will say, Ford went right back to my breast when I stopped using it. 
I remember reading posts and hearing advice on what to bring to the hospital when you are packing your bags and people always recommended maternity clothes because you would look like you were about 6 months prego after. Okay  I was the size of a normal 9 month prego woman at 6 months so I definitely didn't look that big but your body is SO different. I wore dresses and maternity yoga pants those first few days to protect my incision and slowly added in maternity shorts when I needed to look presentable. My doctor told me to expect a belly until my uterus fully shrunk after 8 weeks but here I am 13 weeks postpartum and my uterus may be normal sized inside of me but the poochy belly is still there. I was able to start wearing some non maternity pants about 6 weeks postpartum and even though I am back at my pre pregnancy weight, my body is not the same... and I am okay with that. Stretch marks on my tummy remind me of my beautiful big (and late) baby and the extra skin around my midsection leave me in awe of the way my body was able to grow my son. God's work is pretty cool! I recently started working out and found out that my abs are literally spread apart still. Will be putting off those for a bit.
If you feel like I've already given TMI, you may not want to read any further because now we're gonna talk sex. I've never really talked about sex on my blog before but again... I wish I would have known what to expect postpartum in the intimacy department. To be honest, I was ready for lovin' within the first few days of giving birth. My hormones were surging and seeing Jon step so perfectly into fatherhood made me fall hard for my husband. My doctor told me I would most likely be cleared for sex 6 weeks after giving birth so we were counting down the days. I'm not going to give lots of details but again... wish I would have known that just because your doctor clears you for sex, doesn't mean your body is ready. I guess I assumed because I had a C section things would be easier but I didn't take into consideration that I had indeed gone through labor, dilated and my uterus was still shrinking. I remember being so so sad that things didn't pick up right where they left off, but your body needs time to heal. You are more than welcome to email me if you have further questions about postpartum sex. Never have I loved my husband more than after having a baby together. Knowing that God created sex to be fun and pleasurable for man and wife, but that a life is created! I know it will take time. 
I feel like lots of people DO talk about postpartum emotions but honestly even after reading blogs, books, and articles about it, I could never prepare until I experienced it. Parenthood is so much harder than I could have ever imagined but it is so much better. So much more rewarding, precious, and fulfilling. Those first few days I cried, I would think 99% of women do. Cried because I couldn't stand up straight and bear the pain of my incision, cried because I had to cover my nipples in the shower because the water pouring over them hurt like hell, and crying because I was so in love with my baby. Hormones. Those things are absolutely nuts. You think your hormones are raging during your time of the month? Just wait until you have a baby! Hormones coupled with pure exhaustion is the perfect cocktail for a sensitive heart and lots of tears. And that is okay! I love that this community totally embraces postpartum emotions. I did not suffer from PPD but love that my friends who do can so openly speak about it, own it, and share it. Motherhood is such a crazy unknown. You constantly question whether you are doing it right and whether you are doing enough so it's easy to get down on yourself but know that you are not alone. 
I hope that this post didn't discourage any mamas to be because that is the opposite of what I wanted it to do. I wish someone would have told me that it's OK to cry in the shower and that it's normal for you to walk around topless those first few weeks because it's just easier than taking off your shirt to feed every hour. I want my blog to be a place where you can come to get the real deal. Like I said a few times, I want to be an open book so please don't hesitate to ask me questions about my postpartum experience. I am more than happy to share, that is what this community is about.
This boy is WORTH it!