Yesterday I shared about how the Influence Conference changed my heart last weekend and mentioned that it was a rough parenthood couple of days. I will start off by saying that flying with Ford was by far the easiest portion of our trip (and the one I was most worried about). Never did I worry about how he'd sleep in the hotel room, etc but boy did he throw us for a loop. I plan on sharing my tips on flying with a baby soon but today I want to share how God intervened and taught me a heck of a lotta grace last weekend.
The first night we flew into Indy, Ford slept great. He slept pretty much the whole flight and was up every 4 hours to nurse after a 6 hour stretch which is normal for him. I wasn't able to sleep during his 6 hour stretch since we were traveling but I was able to get adequate rest that night and next morning. I thought, okay I am tired but I can last the whole weekend. And then the night hit. All Ford wanted to do was eat and if he wasn't eating, he was crying or wanted to be held against mine or Jon's chest. This is NOT like our normal baby who is a great sleeper. Let's just say it was the most exhausting night of our lives, hands down harder then those first few nights home from the hospital. My husband is an engineer by schooling and a great problem solver. He was frantically looking up why our boy was in a funk, I just wanted sleep. My eyes were crusty with tears yet I was calm and collected. If Ford wasn't nursing, he was either crying or wanting to be held against mine or Jon's chest. Aye yi yi.
No lie the days leading up to Influence I was feeling really awesome about motherhood. I was getting great sleep, figuring out what my boy needs, and feeling like I had a good handle on keeping up with our house, etc. Jon and I even started talking about when we wanted to have another baby (not anytime soon! We just were talking...). Sigh... I think God was using this weekend to take me off my high horse and humble me a bit. I was doing great at keeping up with laundry and taking Ford on daily walks but was I being needy to God?
We've been reading the book The Wonder Weeks and man is that book true to a TEE for our boy. Literally that very day, the iPhone app told us Ford was starting a "leap"- the mix of physical growth spurt and developmental changes. Check out the black clouds over the exact days we were in Indy.
To those of you who saw me on Friday at Influence, thanks for not mentioning the dark circles and bags under my eyes and an even bigger thank you for wanting to hold and entertain my baby. Ford definitely needed extra love, entertainment, and food.
Come Saturday I was a little more rested and spent the day getting filled up with gospel centered preaching, worship, and community. We went to dinner at a brewery with Jon's cousin and her family and Influence wrapped up and left me feeling refreshed. Little did I know that night would be one of the worst and most painful of my life....
We put Ford down at 730p and I woke up at 1230a feeling engorged (since I was on Norco when my milk came in, I never had the feeling of engorgement so this was new and painful). I shook Jon and asked if it was OK that I woke Ford up to eat....normally I'd never wake a sleeping baby but I felt so full and it was starting to hurt. All of the sudden I was shaking and freezing, I knew I had a fever. Achey-ness took over my body and I threw up for 4 hours straight. I knew right away it was mastitis. I spent the wee hours of the morning crying out to God, knowing that I couldn't do this alone. I was scared I wouldn't be able to feed Ford and had visions of our flight home having to throw up repeatedly in the tiny restroom on board. I reached out to friends, girls in my small group, and ladies of the Influence Conference for prayers. And y'all.... God heals!!!!! I woke up in a sweat, my fever broke, and I stopped throwing up. I can't tell you the pain in my breast got any better but a fever as an adult is about the worst thing to experience. And throwing up hurt my incision and killed my throat. The Lord knew I needed strength and healed my achey body. We were able to talk to my doctor and they called in a prescription immediately to a CVS near our hotel. I started feeling SO much better after a few hours and a few doses of amoxicillian, this was mind blowing considering I didn't think I would make it out alive.
Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me. -Psalm 30:2
Plain and simple. He heals! He restores the emptiness and brokeness in our lives whether it be physical, spiritual, or emotional. I wanted to share this experience because I know how hard it is to cry out to Him sometimes. We want to put blame on worldly things for our pain and forget that our creator is an incredible healer. I look back and kind of have to laugh at the weekend we had... our first family trip to a Christian women's conference that ended in sleepless nights and a wicked breast infection. The enemy was trying to attack and we didn't let him take reign.