It's crazy how quickly this pregnancy has flown by. Lucy will be in my arms in 1 week, unless she decides to come early on her own. Wow! I have my last OB appointment this morning, very bittersweet because I love my doctor and her team. Taking care of a busy toddler seemed to use all of my brain cells and here I am, days away from giving birth to his little sister and it still doesn't feel real. In a way, it's been a blessing that it has flown by because this pregnancy has been physically harder than my first (never thought I'd say that!) but then again I feel like I need more time. A couple of weeks ago is when it finally sank in that I am going through another delivery, breastfeeding relationship, and postpartum period with our new baby. I am fully confident of our choice to have a scheduled repeat C section but the thought of it (or any labor/delivery) is very scary. I got a sinking feeling in my stomach when I remembered the pain I went through bringing a baby into this world and that it was happening again. Unlike last time, never have given birth before, I know what to expect. This doesn't sway my decision at all, it gives me the opportunity to be specific and intentional with my prayer time and what I am asking for from the Lord for Lucy's birth. Just like in parenthood, there is only so much the world can offer during hard seasons and I've learned that answers aren't promised but God never fails. It is so comforting (and incredible!) knowing that HE KNOWS Lucy already. Psalm 139:13 reminds me that it is not by my account but His that she was knit together in my womb. AndJeremiah 1:5reminds me that long before I walked the earth, the Lord knew her and had an intricate plan for her life. He knows her purpose, her mission, how many hairs she has on her head, and her birth story. Worry and anxiety won't change what was written in the stars before time began. I've watched the Lord abundantly bless my family throughout Ford's life and I know it's not just possible for Lucy, it will happen.
This pregnancy has been hard and navigating life with a toddler is emotionally and physically exhausting but my prayer throughout has been for God's glory and fame to be evident. I wrote down my prayers for Ford's birth before having him and as we get closer to meeting Lucy Joy, I wanted to write down my prayers and ask for yours. If you feel the urge or desire to pray along with us, we'd be ever so grateful. God listens to those who stand in awe of His greatness, goodness, and power, Lord hear our prayers.
Commit to the Lord whatever you do -Proverbs 16:3
I ask that as I prepare for her birth, I commit my worries, fears, and even physical pain to the Lord and not lean on my own understanding. I ask for peace, comfort, and safety as I use this birth for His glory alone. I commit my anxiety about the love I will have to offer Lucy to Him because I know He chose me as her mother and will expand my heart immensely. I will NOT feel guilty as I become a mother of 2 because He doesn't feel guilt when He loves us wildly. What a wonderful example of a Father He is, loving each one of us humbly, graciously, and without end.
You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You because he trusts in You. -Isaiah 26:3
I pray for a clear and focused mind before and during my surgery. I ask for freedom of worry and increased trust in knowing the pains of her birth are fleeting and a part the Fall. Fruit can grow where He is, even among pain and suffering. I won't know until the morning of her birth if I will be able to be awake during the surgery and I am so calm and confident at this point that His will be done. I will NOT let the possible outcomes and anxiety steal this joy I have! Her birth story is perfect in His eyes and I pray I can view, accept, and believe in my heart that it is perfect for me. Even though I know her story is already written, I am fervently praying that my blood platelets are high enough that I can be awake for my surgery and that Jon can join me, I covet your prayers for this too.
Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, I will give rest. -Matthew 11:28
My body has definitely been slowing down the last few weeks and I know the pain of recovery is coming. Not only physical pain but the emotional roller coaster of having a new baby can often leave you feeling empty and with a lack of purpose. I pray that I am vulnerable to the Lord's work in my life and mold-able as His disciple. I know God's grace is more than enough to sustain me through weariness, pain, restless nights, and change.
Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward! -Psalm 127:3
Yes God! I pray that I will cling to this scripture when motherhood is trying. I was called to this and God gave me the time, talents, and gifts to raise my children in His kingdom. I pray that I can live the gospel in the little details of life that no one sees... the butt wiping, milk feeding, toy organizing days that seem so mundane. I pray that I can walk with my children and grow them up inside the fullness and beauty of the gospel. I want to cling to the cross and not to my own understanding because this world can be an insensitive, mean, empty place. I want to sing His praises in the trenches, thanking Him for the hope of the cross!