Friday, October 26, 2012

I love us.

I have to say, I love my perfectly imperfect marriage. I think you can love your spouse, but not necessarily love your marriage or more commonly, love the thought of marriage, but not your spouse. I am lucky to love both. I say perfectly imperfect because we don't have it together. We argue, I cry, we pout (okay that is only me), we disagree, we don't see eye to eye...but MAN is it fun! More good/happy times than bad/mad times, and I hope most relationships are structured like that too.  

What do you think of when you think of the perfect marriage? Spending every single night together? Sorry that isn't realistic because Jon and I both travel for work. Sex everyday? Hate to burst your bubble non married friend, but that doesn't happen. Home cooked meal every single night served on a beautiful table scape with fresh flowers? Um no. There are times I feed my husband cereal, eggs, and canned beans for dinner. Wife of the year! We have heated discussions about money and we're not always good at speaking each others love language.

But we love it.

I love that we don't have a standard dinner time or after work schedule. Sometimes its 5:30, sometimes it's 9:30. I love that we have been playing tennis with our $5 Goodwill rackets next to insanely talented 10 year olds who could kick our butts. I love that Jon and I usually sing to each other, original pieces of course, and always use different accents. I love that we shower together every night in a non sexual manner, we just like to be close. I love our house can be a tornado of a mess and together, we can make it spotless and pristine, 10 minutes before someone shows up. I love that we don't watch TV during dinner.  I love that we can tell each other straight up if the other is rude, smells, has something between their teeth, a comment was out of line, etc. I love that neither of us is embarrassed around the other. 
  
New gallery wall in our bathroom
 prints via Olive & Birch and eighteen25

Each one of our relationships and marriages is unique and has its quirks. Things we love, things we don't love, things we are good at, things we need to work on. Something that you may take for granted like nightly foot rubs or your hubby so graciously allowing you to watch Real Housewives reunions during MNF, may be something that other people are yearning for in their relationship. The beauty of marriage is that there is no standard. Jon and I are making it up as we go and despite the bumps and curves, we are enjoying the ride.

24 comments:

Valerie Braun said...

LOVED THE HONESTY! For a while there I thought I was the only one who does/has all these things! Thanks for showing the beauty in it all :)

Laura said...

Beautiful post.. you're so right that people can love their significant other but not love their marriage and vice versa. It's a struggle to keep the fire alive in a marriage and it's so much more than the things that people tend to put the most emphasis on. I enjoy having cereal for dinner with my husband... I love sitting next to each other and not talking because we don't need to talk. Sometimes its in the little moments.

KrystennMarie said...

Thank you for this. I will definitely remember this when I have my own relationship/marriage.

Danielle Carroll said...

This post made me jealous :/ My husband and I have been having one of those weeks where every conversation turns out to be an argument and we simply aren't connecting. I know it happens from time to time, but man it sucks!

Thanks for sharing a bit of your marital journey, Ruthie!!

Lauren H. Edmondson said...

Love this post. I think a marriage's imperfections are what make it a marriage, my husband Josh is the only person who make me madder than fire and I think it's because I am so passionately in love with him that I can get so passionately angry too

Cara said...

Such a great post and so true! Sometimes we get caught up with peoples' lives on FB because they portray their life/relationship as perfect but no one is perfect and no relationship is perfect

Kelsey said...

I love this! You guys are so cute and I love your honesty. The gallery wall looks really good.

Taylor said...

I loved this and needed this! Definitely been one of those weeks, but you're right. It's always better to focus on what you love about your relationship rather than the little tiffs. Thanks for being honest.

Claire-Christine said...

This was a good read this morning, Ruthie. Thanks for giving me a little look into the marriage that I admire :-) You both are fantastic people and I love that I get to share parts of life with you through the blogger world because we live so far apart! Love you girl!

kaity said...

Ruthie, I think you and Jon make such a sweet couple. :) I really admire your healthy relationship and your attitudes toward each other and marriage and love and the whole deal. wishing you guys many many many years of happiness still to come.

Lindsey said...

LOVE this post! You guys are such a sweet couple!!!

Krista said...

Aw great post Ruthie! It's always good to know we're not alone. That other couples argue too. And I love your point about how one couple's strength could be something lacking for another couple. We each make it work to the best of our abilities and we need to recognize and be thankful for the blessings we have received through our marriages.

Jess said...

I love how honest you are and how I am able to relate to everything you said! My favorite is what you said about marriage being so fun despite all the quirks..I think marriage is fun too! Thanks for sharing :)

Chelsea said...

Love this post. It's comforting to know others find perfection in their imperfect relationships too :) Also the gallery wall is adorb.

Lindsey said...

Hi, I am Lindsey and I just found your blog recently!

I loved this post. Absolutely loved it! A lot of the things you and Jon do, my husband and I do as well. We have also recently adapted your rose/thorn thing [sorry, we're copy cats] and I really love having that chat each night! Thanks for writing so honestly. :)

Lissy Moore@Moorepinkplease.com said...

I love this post and your honesty. It's true. There is no right or wrong way to do marriage and no marriage is perfect. You know what I have gone through in my marriage and honestly there are times I say I hate marriage but I love my husband and I love the way we are married. Every relationship married or not has it's ups and downs. As long as the good outweighs the bad and you are still close friends and have a christian based marriage all works out :)
I really admire you and Jon's marriage. Ya'll are such a beautiful couple.
xoxo

Nicole Lynn said...

This is awesome, I feel like people try so hard to make their Marriage seem "perfect" Perfect to my Husband and I is the random disagreements and some pouting.. you seriously cannot expect to always agree on EVERYTHING.
I was taught that a real relationship takes work, not hard work.. But work. Its about Two people who will support each other, even if they don't always agree.
My husband isn't perfect, and Neither am I.. and thats why we love each other so much. Our Relationship is more than a marriage, its a Friendship. Adam is my Best Friend, even if sometimes we want to strangle each other ;)

Nicole Lynn said...

This is awesome, I feel like people try so hard to make their Marriage seem "perfect" Perfect to my Husband and I is the random disagreements and some pouting.. you seriously cannot expect to always agree on EVERYTHING.
I was taught that a real relationship takes work, not hard work.. But work. Its about Two people who will support each other, even if they don't always agree.
My husband isn't perfect, and Neither am I.. and thats why we love each other so much. Our Relationship is more than a marriage, its a Friendship. Adam is my Best Friend, even if sometimes we want to strangle each other ;)

Karla Sypek said...

"The beauty of marriage is that there is no standard"

Spot on with that one! I love that. What a fabulous way to describe marriage.

Thank you for that. This is why I love your blog. You have such a unique way of putting things, and I love your writing voice. =)

-Karla

Breakfast at the Zemke's said...

The prints look so great up on the wall! YAY!!

Allyssa

Olive + Birch

Breakfast at the Zemke's said...

Oh... and thanks for the shout out.. you rock!

GingerPeachT said...

Well I echo everyone else saying how much they love this post!!! I've been married two years now and before I got married I was bombarded with the what I should do being married. I was even in a bible study group on this book called the excellent wife, based on the proverbs 31 woman. And it was too strict! A year into marriage I finally realized I was trying too hard to be perfect. And it just won't happen lol
So amazing seeing God work in our marriage now that I've stopped being the "perfect" wife and just lived!!
Sorry to ramble but yes, not every marriage can fit your way of marriage. Keep God first and that's all you need! Lol
Love ya girl!

Heather said...

love this post! and you guys!!!

and yay for hubbies that sit through us watching our RH marathons!!!

Brandi said...

Wonderful post and so so true! :)

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