Time doesn't go by without finding myself asking this question. "Why did this happen?" "Why did that happen?". Whether it be questioning the state of a current friendship, the tragic losses experienced in the Moore tornadoes, or why the heck I lost a $25 Target giftcard I received (true story), as humans we always question.
3 weeks ago today Jon was in a bad car accident. He is 100% fine and no one was injured (nor in the accident with him), but his car was badly damaged. And we still can't wrap our heads around why it happened. Long and scary story short, Jon had to drive to Dallas for a couple of hours to fill in for an executive who couldn't make it to a quick presentation and happy hour. Jon's in software sales and has a certain territory and even though the meeting was in his territory, it didn't benefit him one bit. So he had to spend 6 hours in the car round trip for this meeting and he sucked it up. We were on the phone while he is heading Southbound on I-35 and all of the sudden he starts yelling "I don't know what's going on! Oh my God! What is happening." Click. And my heart sank. Jon saw a brush fire in the distance and a car in the shoulder so he moved to the left lane to pass by. The next thing he knew, there was a thick cable jumping over the median, flailing, and it hooked onto his bumper, tore through it, tore through his radiator, tore through his brake line, and did incredible amounts of damage to practically every panel of the car. Oh and I should mention... this car was 2 weeks old. Jon spent months researching and finally bought a new (to us) car that he was so excited about. Thank God for modern car technology and his E brake helping him get to the shoulder but what an experience. And this was the day before we left for vacation.
I was able to talk to Jon just a bit in the midst of police reports, towing, driving back to Dallas, and insurance claims. And when we finally got the chance to really talk the next morning, I was in full tears telling him how happy I was. Yes the situation sucked and still sucks, but we saw so much of God's grace through the accident. Knowing how scary it was for Jon, I can't imagine having stayed calm in the situation so it is a blessing I wasn't with him. God protected Jon by not allowing the cable to rip through his windshield and hurt him. Nor was anyone around him (he was on I35 going 60mph so could have easily been hit). And by the grace of God, we hadn't had the chance to sell Jon's old car so he can drive it until the repair on his car is made (which I have to say will take 4 weeks, $11k in damage, 56 hours of paint and body work, and it's still in Dallas... thank God again... for insurance).
So it's been a few weeks, we've had time to relax on the beach, digest the information, and move on but we still can't wrap our heads around why this happened. But isn't that how life should be? We constantly feel entitled to the whole truth which is really like saying, "God we don't trust that this was for our good, so tell us why it happened". Jon said the whole night, as he's interacting with people who stopped, cops, etc, he kept asking God, "am I supposed to meet this person? Will they change my life". We seem to always want a quick and easy answer to things in our lives... especially things that cause pain and damage. And sometimes we are lucky enough to get those answers! I know I was meant to be hurt in relationships prior to Jon to prepare my heart for a marriage I could only dream of. Or that I was laid off from my job a week before my wedding only to find a sense of purpose, excitement, and fun in my current job. We are quick to blame God on the pain in our lives and too impatient to wait for truth and understanding in His plans.
Do I think that because of this car accident, something huge and drastic will forever be changed in our lives? No. But I know God was teaching us something through this. I am not quite sure what it is but I know He loves seeing the praise we are giving for Jon's safety rather than blame for Jon's car. Is it easy? Not always. Of course it sucks that we are out our insurance deductible and the car will probably be ready right when I am delivering our baby... but the mercy He showed on us is so much greater than those things... so much greater.
My prayer is that I prepare to enter motherhood, I can continue seeing God's grace and mercy in the tough times. I know there will be days, many days, where I question my success as a mother, wife, or friend, yet what a gift to have the unfailing, steadfast, overflowing love, support, and encouragement from the Lord. I pray that I can be patient when problems arise and less demanding of trying to understand God's will. And I pray these things for you too.